Goodness it really has been a month since my last post....I do apologize. Life has been crazy around here. For those of you who don’t already know, my sweet Grandmother lost her battle with Congestive Heart Failure and went to be with the Lord on May 31, 2009. It was excruciating knowing the end was near and being so far away, but she had my dad, her daughter and husband with her when she passed, and somehow I think that is exactly what she would have wanted. We had 2 memorial services - one in AK a week after her passing, and one here in MS on June 20. Although the service here was beautiful and I’m so glad we did it the way that we did, it really drew out the mourning process for the immediate family. I kind of feel like everything was on hold until we made it through the 2nd memorial. On a happier note I had a great time visiting with my cousin Shasta, who flew in and stayed with us for the weekend. Shasta and I are only 2 months apart in age, and grew up together in AK.
I guess it goes with the territory that I’ve been more emotional and kind of a crank (is that even a word?) these past several weeks. Although I’ll never be able to keep up with it on a regular basis, I decided to use this as an opportunity to participate in the whole “Not Me” confession to clear my conscience.
When we went to watch Transformers last weekend, I was not in a bad mood when we arrived at the theater because I did not think we were early enough to get a good seat (we did). And I most certainly did not pitch a fit when my husband spent 17.50 on a large popcorn and TWO LARGE REGULAR COKES because he never gets COKE for an evening show, always SPRITE. And then I really didn’t sit there ticked off with my arms crossed for the next 3 hours, only enjoying 4 handfuls of popcorn all night because it would make me thirsty, and then I’d have to drink the coke and be up all night. Wow – I really can’t believe I acted like that! You know, these days when I get upset, it’s always over something REALLY important. For example, Mom spills red kool-aid all over every article inside of my fridge 30 minutes before company arrives - no problem. Friend’s toddler poops in her underwear and gets it all over the spare bedroom carpet trying to hide the mess – no biggie. Husband buys Coke instead of Sprite at an evening show - it’s the end of the world!!!
I did not spend an hour trying to scrub the stains out of our white boat carpet (why they put white carpet on a boat is still a mystery to me), and end up losing it 30 minutes later when we took said boat out in water so rough (we didn’t know it was that windy when we started out) that the filthy reservoir waves come cresting over the bow, wiping out all of my hard work in less than one minute.
I did not drive all the way to Petsmart because I was completely out of Bailey’s prescription cat food. And I did not somehow manage to pick up, get a prescription for, and pay for prescription DOG food instead of his CAT food. (To my credit, the bags look exactly the same, save for the dog and/or cat on each bag, and I’ve always bought it at my vet before). And I did not take that DOG food home and try to feed it to my CAT, and get royally aggravated when he wouldn’t eat it (only later realizing my error). Thankfully Petsmart gave me a fully refund, even though I’d opened the food.
I did not try to deliver our boat trailer to the farm by myself the day after my grandmother passed away. And during that delivery I did not make it 30 miles unscathed, only to take the corner around the cabin too tight and rip the trim right off the side of the garage. Not me. I also did not get stuck in the mud during that same delivery, and end up spinning out over the water line next to the driveway – busting it in 2 places. And I did not stand there sobbing and blubbering in the driveway, frantically trying to call my mom as the water bubbled up around my ankles. Not me. Fortunately my Great Uncle John, who can fix anything, was available to help me with that mess.
I guess those are the biggies for now. All I can say is that my husband is a saint for putting up with me these past several weeks!
I’m optimistic that July will be a better month. We’re grilling out and watching fireworks on the water with friends this weekend, and have some good friends from Atlanta visiting the next 2 weekends (they are staying 2 nights on the way to Texas and one on the way back). The weekends are filling up fast..I can’t believe it’s already July. And can you believe that this time last year we had JUST put our house on the market. CRAZINESS.
Have a safe and Happy 4th of July Weekend! God Bless America!
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
The Past Month in Pictures
Jeff's Birthday Bash
The Birthday Boy and his new toy ~saved $100 at Walmart by buying the floor model. Yes he did have to grill the meat at his party, but that is all he had to do for it.
Getting ready for a day on the water with our Atlanta friends.
Not so sure about this outfit dad...I think I look like a hotdog.
Feeding the ducks at Pelican Cove Grill
Jeff loves to take candid shots of people...I just had to post this one of Mike.
Getting ready to go back on the boat
Little Skipper - don't worry, we were still docked and mom was only an arm's length away.
My girls
Dad's boat goes FAST!
Doesn't his hair look like Wolverine's from XMen?
Dinner on the back porch
I am not known for my table decorating skills
Daily walk to the water
Too cute!
Happy girl!
Virgin voyage of the Smith Party Barge. Doesn't this look like a fake background? And this is my "Little" brother, for those of you who don't know or recognize.
Grandpa and Dad - The 2 fishing seats on the front have your name on them!
Captain Jeff
Skipper Scout
I can drive too...
Look closely..and alien among us...
She was not happy about having to wear a lifevest..
But perked right up when mom and Lana put theirs on because of choppy water.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Many Notes
Sorry I haven’t posted in a few weeks. We’ve had a lot going on around here; I’ll try my best to update.
ON A SAD NOTE….
Jeff’s great grandmother (Mama Li) passed away last weekend. She was 101 years old and lived a long, full life, but I really don’t think that makes things any easier when you have to say goodbye. The wedding band I proudly wear belonged to her – she took it off her finger and gave it to Jeff to give to me several months before we married. It’s a treasured keepsake we hope to pass down to our own kids someday. Jeff made the trip to LA this past weekend for the funeral. I did not attend because my own grandmother in Alaska (Granny) is currently fighting for her life, and I did not want to burden his family with my turbulent emotions. This is the same grandmother I asked for prayers for back in January. My dad flew up to be with her Saturday, and my only consolation is knowing she has her family (Grandpa, Dad and Twila) by her side during this unbelievably sad time. My Grandfather asked the Grandgirls not to come this time, as they want us to remember her how she was in January, not how she is now. She is currently at home with hospice care, and they are keeping her medicated so she doesn’t get agitated or anxious, but she is still conscious and very aware of what’s going on. They were trying desperately last month to get her down here to MS, but her heart just wasn’t strong enough to make the trip. Please pray for peace and comfort for her and the rest of the family as the Lord prepares to take her home. Both Jeff and I are unbelievably lucky to have had both sets of grandparents with us this long, but that extra time is also making it very hard to let go right now.
ON A FUNNY NOTE....
Jeff volunteered to help a friend, Chris Rachel, do some plumbing in his house a few weeks ago. After sending Chris to the store for supplies, Jeff showed up one evening after work ready to knock out the job, sure it wouldn’t take longer than 20 minutes. 1 hour of talking and 4 hours of work later, they still couldn’t get the pipes to stop leaking enough to turn the water back on (keep in mind the Chris and Katie have a newborn daughter at home). In desperation, Jeff and Chris formed a wad of epoxy (looks like gray play dough, but is supposed to seal up as hard as steel) around the seal of the pipe, but even that didn’t work. At midnight they had to call it a night and Chris decided to call in the experts the next day. When the plumbers arrived, this is the conversation that resulted….
Plumber 1 – Upon seeing the baseball size wad of epoxy on the pipe, exclaimed “What the HELL is this? Hey Plumber 2, have you ever seen anything like this before??”
Plumber 2 – “I’d have to say this is a first.”
Plumber 1 – Turning to Chris, very seriously “Whoever did this to your pipes, don’t EVER let them work on anything in your house again.”
I was over at Chris and Katie’s without Jeff when they told me this story and laughed so hard I cried watching Chris reenact the plumber scene. I wanted to call Jeff immediately to have Chris tell him the story too, but sweet Katie, who is much more thoughtful than I, suggested we give it a few days so he’d actually think it was funny because he’d left pretty frustrated the night before. I gave it all of an hour before I caved and told him everything later that night. Thankfully he thought it was just as funny as the rest of us.
And he hasn’t completely shot his credibility with the Rachel’s – he’s headed back over sometime this week to help Chris put in the bathtub.
I brag on my husband all of the time, because I really think he can do/fix/build just about anything. This was truly just a freak encounter with a set of copper pipes he couldn’t beat.
ON A FRUSTRATING NOTE….
We get to replace the compressor on our air conditioner today (goodbye $1500). Add that to the refrigerator repairs last month ($250), the initial AC call last month ($185) and new tires and brakes for Jeff’s truck ($375), all in less than 30 days. Ouch.
ON A NOSTALIGIC NOTE….
We had some good friends in from Atlanta to visit last weekend…I’ll post pictures later. The weather was perfect every day but Sunday. We enjoyed a fun day out on the boat Saturday, fishing, a gourmet steak dinner on the back patio, picnics and even a trip down to Vicksburg for Sunday brunch in an Antebellum home. Fun times fun times. And with everything going on with our families right now, having good friends and fellowship for a few days did both of our hearts a whole lot of good.
ON AN EXCITING NOTE….
I’m going to be an Aunt again!! Lana is due in December and we are all so excited for her, especially her 9 year old daughter Paige. She can’t wait to be a big sister!
ON A SAD NOTE….
Jeff’s great grandmother (Mama Li) passed away last weekend. She was 101 years old and lived a long, full life, but I really don’t think that makes things any easier when you have to say goodbye. The wedding band I proudly wear belonged to her – she took it off her finger and gave it to Jeff to give to me several months before we married. It’s a treasured keepsake we hope to pass down to our own kids someday. Jeff made the trip to LA this past weekend for the funeral. I did not attend because my own grandmother in Alaska (Granny) is currently fighting for her life, and I did not want to burden his family with my turbulent emotions. This is the same grandmother I asked for prayers for back in January. My dad flew up to be with her Saturday, and my only consolation is knowing she has her family (Grandpa, Dad and Twila) by her side during this unbelievably sad time. My Grandfather asked the Grandgirls not to come this time, as they want us to remember her how she was in January, not how she is now. She is currently at home with hospice care, and they are keeping her medicated so she doesn’t get agitated or anxious, but she is still conscious and very aware of what’s going on. They were trying desperately last month to get her down here to MS, but her heart just wasn’t strong enough to make the trip. Please pray for peace and comfort for her and the rest of the family as the Lord prepares to take her home. Both Jeff and I are unbelievably lucky to have had both sets of grandparents with us this long, but that extra time is also making it very hard to let go right now.
ON A FUNNY NOTE....
Jeff volunteered to help a friend, Chris Rachel, do some plumbing in his house a few weeks ago. After sending Chris to the store for supplies, Jeff showed up one evening after work ready to knock out the job, sure it wouldn’t take longer than 20 minutes. 1 hour of talking and 4 hours of work later, they still couldn’t get the pipes to stop leaking enough to turn the water back on (keep in mind the Chris and Katie have a newborn daughter at home). In desperation, Jeff and Chris formed a wad of epoxy (looks like gray play dough, but is supposed to seal up as hard as steel) around the seal of the pipe, but even that didn’t work. At midnight they had to call it a night and Chris decided to call in the experts the next day. When the plumbers arrived, this is the conversation that resulted….
Plumber 1 – Upon seeing the baseball size wad of epoxy on the pipe, exclaimed “What the HELL is this? Hey Plumber 2, have you ever seen anything like this before??”
Plumber 2 – “I’d have to say this is a first.”
Plumber 1 – Turning to Chris, very seriously “Whoever did this to your pipes, don’t EVER let them work on anything in your house again.”
I was over at Chris and Katie’s without Jeff when they told me this story and laughed so hard I cried watching Chris reenact the plumber scene. I wanted to call Jeff immediately to have Chris tell him the story too, but sweet Katie, who is much more thoughtful than I, suggested we give it a few days so he’d actually think it was funny because he’d left pretty frustrated the night before. I gave it all of an hour before I caved and told him everything later that night. Thankfully he thought it was just as funny as the rest of us.
And he hasn’t completely shot his credibility with the Rachel’s – he’s headed back over sometime this week to help Chris put in the bathtub.
I brag on my husband all of the time, because I really think he can do/fix/build just about anything. This was truly just a freak encounter with a set of copper pipes he couldn’t beat.
ON A FRUSTRATING NOTE….
We get to replace the compressor on our air conditioner today (goodbye $1500). Add that to the refrigerator repairs last month ($250), the initial AC call last month ($185) and new tires and brakes for Jeff’s truck ($375), all in less than 30 days. Ouch.
ON A NOSTALIGIC NOTE….
We had some good friends in from Atlanta to visit last weekend…I’ll post pictures later. The weather was perfect every day but Sunday. We enjoyed a fun day out on the boat Saturday, fishing, a gourmet steak dinner on the back patio, picnics and even a trip down to Vicksburg for Sunday brunch in an Antebellum home. Fun times fun times. And with everything going on with our families right now, having good friends and fellowship for a few days did both of our hearts a whole lot of good.
ON AN EXCITING NOTE….
I’m going to be an Aunt again!! Lana is due in December and we are all so excited for her, especially her 9 year old daughter Paige. She can’t wait to be a big sister!
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Did you know
That this
plus this
equals this
and possibly this
Or so my husband figured out last night while I was out running errands. He decided to boil some eggs, but wasn't quite sure they were done, so figured he'd nuke them a minute just to make sure. After wandering from the kitchen to the tv, he heard what sounded like an explosion in the kitchen. He ran back to the microwave, where one egg had already exploded, and opened the door just in time to get popped by the second egg bomb, which after grazing him flew all the way across the kitchen (about 13 feet) and landed under the kitchen table, spraying egg mess EVERYWHERE.
So a kitchen full of egg shrapnel is what I came home to last night, since Jeff was kind enough to leave everything "as is" so I could fully appreciate the situation - and get a picture for the blog. As a sidenote - I'm sensing the blog could turn into something dangerous once we have kids. I can hear it now...Mom I'm sorry I blew up your favorite xyz...but don't you want to take a picture of it for the blog??
So then, after cleaning up egg mess for 45 minutes (Allie and Scout really enjoyed it - they NEVER get people food), what did my brilliant husband do? My brilliant, genius husband with 2 degrees, probably a 180 IQ who spends his days giving business owners and individuals advice and guidance on how to manage their money.........
Yep, you guessed it, he did it again. Because surely it won't blow up a second time, as long as we crack the shell before heating it up. And mind you this is all happening despite my VEHEMENT objections.
So first lesson learned - don't microwave eggs - cracked shell or not. And second lesson learned - listen to your wife. Because for the record, I would NEVER have done this myself. Call it a cook's 6th sense or something, it's just not something I would have tried. I'll continue to boil my eggs for 15 minutes to make sure they're completely done like a normal person - thank you.
And if you visit our house in the next month or so and get a faint whiff of what smells like rotten eggs - now you know why.
plus this
equals this
and possibly this
Or so my husband figured out last night while I was out running errands. He decided to boil some eggs, but wasn't quite sure they were done, so figured he'd nuke them a minute just to make sure. After wandering from the kitchen to the tv, he heard what sounded like an explosion in the kitchen. He ran back to the microwave, where one egg had already exploded, and opened the door just in time to get popped by the second egg bomb, which after grazing him flew all the way across the kitchen (about 13 feet) and landed under the kitchen table, spraying egg mess EVERYWHERE.
So a kitchen full of egg shrapnel is what I came home to last night, since Jeff was kind enough to leave everything "as is" so I could fully appreciate the situation - and get a picture for the blog. As a sidenote - I'm sensing the blog could turn into something dangerous once we have kids. I can hear it now...Mom I'm sorry I blew up your favorite xyz...but don't you want to take a picture of it for the blog??
So then, after cleaning up egg mess for 45 minutes (Allie and Scout really enjoyed it - they NEVER get people food), what did my brilliant husband do? My brilliant, genius husband with 2 degrees, probably a 180 IQ who spends his days giving business owners and individuals advice and guidance on how to manage their money.........
Yep, you guessed it, he did it again. Because surely it won't blow up a second time, as long as we crack the shell before heating it up. And mind you this is all happening despite my VEHEMENT objections.
So first lesson learned - don't microwave eggs - cracked shell or not. And second lesson learned - listen to your wife. Because for the record, I would NEVER have done this myself. Call it a cook's 6th sense or something, it's just not something I would have tried. I'll continue to boil my eggs for 15 minutes to make sure they're completely done like a normal person - thank you.
And if you visit our house in the next month or so and get a faint whiff of what smells like rotten eggs - now you know why.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Country Days
The last weekend in March we enjoyed a 3 days with Jeff's parent's and brothers and broods in Louisiana. Everyone was there this time, Eric and Amy +5, Justin +1, Me and Jeff and Mom and Pop = 13 people in his parent's 3BR 2BA house. Good thing I'm not one of those "high maintenance" women who requires 2 hours in the bathroom each morning:)
The plan for the weekend was to pick-up and pack-up meat from the 1200lb steer Jeff's dad raised and had slaughtered for the family. For my vegetarian friends out there I'm sorry, but that's all a part of country life. And now that we have a year's worth of free beef in our freezer, I've realized it is a part of country life I like very much!
So what do you do with 700lbs of beef and 13 people to feed for the weekend - grill out of course. Only the weather, and the equipment - or lack thereof I should say, made that a little more challenging than normal.
First off - it was 45 degrees all weekend, and the wind was blowing 25mph all day every day. Makes it kind of hard to keep the charcoal lit - especially when you don't have any lighter fluid. So what does a good cowboy do in the face of this adversity - call in reinforcements of course.
Maybe if we put enough sticks on the grill, the fire will stay lit. Sorry Uncle Jeff - didn't mean to poke you in the face.
Tough times call for tough measures. Maybe Cowboy Ellis can help out.
Now the funniest thing about this entire process, is that Jeff's mission was to grill 13-14 steaks that were EACH almost as big as the grill itself, on this tiny thing. And everyone who walked outside asked Jeff the same question - myself included - "How are you going to grill all those steaks on that thing?"
Although he laughs about it now, at the time, Jeff did not find this whole process nearly as funny as I, and did not appreciate my uncontrollable giggling from the sidelines. But 3 hours later, the man prevailed over the meat, and we sat down to a delicious dinner of perfectly flame grilled steaks - all cooked in the grill used to burn trash - we later discovered. Gotta love country life.
The best part about being at the farm is the cows. I love cows - and I wish they loved me back. Unfortunately they seem to have a very strong aversion to my Victoria's Secret Lovespell lotion - although I did get to pat a few of the babies on the head this time.
The plan for the weekend was to pick-up and pack-up meat from the 1200lb steer Jeff's dad raised and had slaughtered for the family. For my vegetarian friends out there I'm sorry, but that's all a part of country life. And now that we have a year's worth of free beef in our freezer, I've realized it is a part of country life I like very much!
So what do you do with 700lbs of beef and 13 people to feed for the weekend - grill out of course. Only the weather, and the equipment - or lack thereof I should say, made that a little more challenging than normal.
First off - it was 45 degrees all weekend, and the wind was blowing 25mph all day every day. Makes it kind of hard to keep the charcoal lit - especially when you don't have any lighter fluid. So what does a good cowboy do in the face of this adversity - call in reinforcements of course.
Maybe if we put enough sticks on the grill, the fire will stay lit. Sorry Uncle Jeff - didn't mean to poke you in the face.
Tough times call for tough measures. Maybe Cowboy Ellis can help out.
Now the funniest thing about this entire process, is that Jeff's mission was to grill 13-14 steaks that were EACH almost as big as the grill itself, on this tiny thing. And everyone who walked outside asked Jeff the same question - myself included - "How are you going to grill all those steaks on that thing?"
Although he laughs about it now, at the time, Jeff did not find this whole process nearly as funny as I, and did not appreciate my uncontrollable giggling from the sidelines. But 3 hours later, the man prevailed over the meat, and we sat down to a delicious dinner of perfectly flame grilled steaks - all cooked in the grill used to burn trash - we later discovered. Gotta love country life.
The best part about being at the farm is the cows. I love cows - and I wish they loved me back. Unfortunately they seem to have a very strong aversion to my Victoria's Secret Lovespell lotion - although I did get to pat a few of the babies on the head this time.
Anytime we're out in the yard, all of the cows run up to the fence closest to where we're gathered.
Bovine teenagers verses 4 year old Chey.
So what does a cowgirl do during her weekend at the farm - besides laugh at her husband trying to grill steaks? Cook of course - although the picture below is from our own farm. I'm not sure that's really a cowgirl responsibility, but when you have 13 mouths to feed, well you don't really have much choice. So when I wasn't out trying to play with the cows, I was in the kitchen cooking and cleaning. I guess my dreams of commandeering the countryside with my faithful steed will have to wait for another day.
I also experienced my first bull standoff that weekend. Lisa, Amy and I were visiting in the den around 9pm Saturday night when we heard the most awful noise - it sounded like one of the cows was dying. We all ran outside, and found the guys casually sitting on the swing, smoking cigars.
"Did you not hear that??" I said.
"Yeah, that's just the bull," Jeff casually remarked.
"No, he's just marking his territory, or so to speak. The neighbor's bull is trying to pick a fight."
"Well we need to get him away from the fence," Jeff's mom breaks in. "He'll walk through the barbwire in a heartbeat, and then we'll have a mess on our hands."
So my cowboy husband casually unfolds himself from the swing, grabs a flashlight, and starts walking toward the fence - like breaking up bullfights is something he does everyday.
"Be careful please!! He could come right through the fence at you (as if he wasn't already aware of this)" I croak, as he saunters over to the fence, where the bull is rooting around only feet away. And then my cowboy husband shines the light right in the bull's eyes and starts clapping, of all things. And after a brief minute of protest, the bull, and what sounds like the rest of the herd, takes off thundering down the pasture. Jeff then walks over to the neighbor's fence and repeats the same process with his bull, who picked the fight in the first place.
Bovine teenagers verses 4 year old Chey.
I wonder if this is one of the calves we worked with at christmas. He or she doesn't seem to mind my lotion.
If only the Smith's had horses - I'm still trying to talk Cowboy Ellis into buying a few. After all, you're technically not a cowboy unless you own a horse.
So what does a cowgirl do during her weekend at the farm - besides laugh at her husband trying to grill steaks? Cook of course - although the picture below is from our own farm. I'm not sure that's really a cowgirl responsibility, but when you have 13 mouths to feed, well you don't really have much choice. So when I wasn't out trying to play with the cows, I was in the kitchen cooking and cleaning. I guess my dreams of commandeering the countryside with my faithful steed will have to wait for another day.
I also experienced my first bull standoff that weekend. Lisa, Amy and I were visiting in the den around 9pm Saturday night when we heard the most awful noise - it sounded like one of the cows was dying. We all ran outside, and found the guys casually sitting on the swing, smoking cigars.
"Did you not hear that??" I said.
"Yeah, that's just the bull," Jeff casually remarked.
"Is he dying? I mean it sounds like something is wrong."
"No, he's just marking his territory, or so to speak. The neighbor's bull is trying to pick a fight."
"Well we need to get him away from the fence," Jeff's mom breaks in. "He'll walk through the barbwire in a heartbeat, and then we'll have a mess on our hands."
So my cowboy husband casually unfolds himself from the swing, grabs a flashlight, and starts walking toward the fence - like breaking up bullfights is something he does everyday.
"Be careful please!! He could come right through the fence at you (as if he wasn't already aware of this)" I croak, as he saunters over to the fence, where the bull is rooting around only feet away. And then my cowboy husband shines the light right in the bull's eyes and starts clapping, of all things. And after a brief minute of protest, the bull, and what sounds like the rest of the herd, takes off thundering down the pasture. Jeff then walks over to the neighbor's fence and repeats the same process with his bull, who picked the fight in the first place.
Evidently this happens every so often, and you have to address is immediately, because if the bulls ever figure out they can walk right through the fence, well then it's kind of like country Armageddon. Gotta love country life!
Friday, March 20, 2009
Where does he come up with this stuff??
Okay my last post poked fun at how un-funny my husband can be sometimes. This post highlights one of his more successful attempts at comedic expression.....at my expense of course. But it's still funny. This is Jeff's response to a friend's invitiation to go sparring this weekend. The friend is learning some new type of karate.....which by the way since when did sparring become such a casual weekend activity??? Hey guys, let's get together and beat the crap out of each other. Must be a man thing. Anyway...
Jeff - via email - "Does it cost anything? I am very cost conscious you know. I might be able to help you out. If you want to come over I can let Courtney beat the crap out of you for free! I found these attack words and phrases (like trainers use with dogs) that have worked well in the past to get Courtney to attack me...although I have to say I try and avoid saying them if at all possible."
My response: You are an ass, but that was pretty freaking hilarious. I'm still laughing so hard I'm crying.
Where does he come up with this stuff?? Maybe this explains while when playing the game "Imagine If," my husband said if I were a dog I'd be a Rottweiller. For the record - even though I am a purple belt in karate, I do not attack my husband (even though I really want to sometimes). I admit there may have been some claw swipes early on in the first 3 years of marriage, when things were so wonderfully horrible, but not anytime recently.
Just for laughs...Jeff said I'd be a Rottweiler, but the rest of his family said I'd be a French Poodle. Now IMAGINE THAT...me a french poodle. Well they're all wrong, if I was a dog I'd be an Alaskan Husky. DUHHH!
Jeff - via email - "Does it cost anything? I am very cost conscious you know. I might be able to help you out. If you want to come over I can let Courtney beat the crap out of you for free! I found these attack words and phrases (like trainers use with dogs) that have worked well in the past to get Courtney to attack me...although I have to say I try and avoid saying them if at all possible."
My response: You are an ass, but that was pretty freaking hilarious. I'm still laughing so hard I'm crying.
Where does he come up with this stuff?? Maybe this explains while when playing the game "Imagine If," my husband said if I were a dog I'd be a Rottweiller. For the record - even though I am a purple belt in karate, I do not attack my husband (even though I really want to sometimes). I admit there may have been some claw swipes early on in the first 3 years of marriage, when things were so wonderfully horrible, but not anytime recently.
Just for laughs...Jeff said I'd be a Rottweiler, but the rest of his family said I'd be a French Poodle. Now IMAGINE THAT...me a french poodle. Well they're all wrong, if I was a dog I'd be an Alaskan Husky. DUHHH!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
The Joke
For those of you who’ve spent any amount of time around Jeff, you know that he loves to talk, and tell stories...among other things. And that he has all of these random facts in his head, most of which you never know are true or not (For the record, Jeff is brilliant, he just likes to mess with people). He also loves to make-up jokes. Occasionally they are hilarious, with the emphasis being on occasionally. So for your reading pleasure this Wednesday morning, I present you with his latest.
Set-up: “Did you hear the news? Scientists just found life on Mars…2 alien embryos tucked away in some remote cavern.”
Punchline: “Wait, what am I thinking, I forgot embryos aren’t considered actual life forms.”
And hence our follow-up conversation last night.
Jeff “Soooo, what do you think.”
Courtney “Ummmm….okay……that was not the least bit funny. And it's way too complicated for a joke.”
Jeff “It was HILARIOUS!! You just have to be liberal minded.”
Courtney “Liberals don’t like jokes that make fun of them. And it’s still not funny.”
Jeff “I promise this is hysterical. Are you sure you got it? Do you want me to tell it again.”
Courtney “No, I’m pretty sure I got it. And it’s still not funny.”
Jeff “I know this is a funny one, you just don’t appreciate it. I need to tell some other people.”
Courtney “Be my guest, but I’m pretty sure they won’t think it’s funny either.”
At this point we're both in hysterics, and it's brought to my attention that I'm a mean wife for laughing at him and not his joke. So sorry dear.
Oh how I love my husband!!
Set-up: “Did you hear the news? Scientists just found life on Mars…2 alien embryos tucked away in some remote cavern.”
Punchline: “Wait, what am I thinking, I forgot embryos aren’t considered actual life forms.”
And hence our follow-up conversation last night.
Jeff “Soooo, what do you think.”
Courtney “Ummmm….okay……that was not the least bit funny. And it's way too complicated for a joke.”
Jeff “It was HILARIOUS!! You just have to be liberal minded.”
Courtney “Liberals don’t like jokes that make fun of them. And it’s still not funny.”
Jeff “I promise this is hysterical. Are you sure you got it? Do you want me to tell it again.”
Courtney “No, I’m pretty sure I got it. And it’s still not funny.”
Jeff “I know this is a funny one, you just don’t appreciate it. I need to tell some other people.”
Courtney “Be my guest, but I’m pretty sure they won’t think it’s funny either.”
At this point we're both in hysterics, and it's brought to my attention that I'm a mean wife for laughing at him and not his joke. So sorry dear.
Oh how I love my husband!!
Monday, March 9, 2009
Monday Musings
What do you do when it’s 75 degrees outside and you have:
1. 11 loads of laundry to finish
2. Dirty bathrooms that need to be scrubbed
3. One master bathroom in dire need of wallpaper and glue stripping
4. An unfinished dining room table that was only supposed to take 2 months to build
5. A redneck plywood tv shelf installed 3 weeks ago that really needs to be trimmed out and painted
6. A refridgerator that hasn’t been cleaned out in weeks
7. Dog hair everywhere
8. Bird poop all over your boat slip
Play of course! That’s what weekends are for right? Well technically we did work some…I mowed the yard and pulled about 6 gallons of weeds out of the front yard, and Jeff did some ministry work downtown Saturday while I attended a “Tea Party” fundraiser – no joke, then steamed and glued some wood for our dining room table. Other than that we visited with friends and neighbors, took the dogs running and watched several episodes of X-Files – of course! Oh and we also took my brother to see the Watchmen on Friday night. Not a bad movie, but I never want to see another big…blue…man - if you’ve seen the movie you’ll know what I’m talking about. Although I think my husband was more bothered by it than I. A GREAT way to spend the weekend if you ask me - save the blue man part.
For those of you that know me well, you understand that for me to leave the list above alone over the weekend (and longer than that on some of the items) only serves to prove that I am truly a recovering Type A Personality. In fact I just bought a shower curtain for one of our bathrooms last month, and we’ve been in our house nearly 3 months. Shocked? I kind of was too when I realized how long I’d let the shower stand bare.
My new motto – “Laissez Le Bon Temps Roulet” – Let the good times roll! Monsieur Rees would be proud – it’s about all I remember from his french class. Don’t expect me to become a complete slacker though – I mean there is a limit to my dirty/chaos/unfinished meter. I confess that I did tell Jeff sometime last week that if I had to look at our redneck tv shelf for one more month I was going to throw it and the tv out the window…or something to that affect.
So will I be running straight home from work today to tackle the list? Ummmmm no. I will be running to the store to pick up supplies for the Gourmet Bread Pudding with Whiskey Cream Sauce I’m making for my grandparents tonight. And then I intend to eat a very large bowl of that gourmet bread pudding while sitting on my lazy arse at my parent’s house. How’s that for rehabilitation?! I just wish my nose and eyes would stop itching from all of this pollen. As a good friend once said regarding this time of year, “It feels like the plants and trees are all having sex in my nose.”
On that akward (but you have to admit funny) note….happy Monday!
1. 11 loads of laundry to finish
2. Dirty bathrooms that need to be scrubbed
3. One master bathroom in dire need of wallpaper and glue stripping
4. An unfinished dining room table that was only supposed to take 2 months to build
5. A redneck plywood tv shelf installed 3 weeks ago that really needs to be trimmed out and painted
6. A refridgerator that hasn’t been cleaned out in weeks
7. Dog hair everywhere
8. Bird poop all over your boat slip
Play of course! That’s what weekends are for right? Well technically we did work some…I mowed the yard and pulled about 6 gallons of weeds out of the front yard, and Jeff did some ministry work downtown Saturday while I attended a “Tea Party” fundraiser – no joke, then steamed and glued some wood for our dining room table. Other than that we visited with friends and neighbors, took the dogs running and watched several episodes of X-Files – of course! Oh and we also took my brother to see the Watchmen on Friday night. Not a bad movie, but I never want to see another big…blue…man - if you’ve seen the movie you’ll know what I’m talking about. Although I think my husband was more bothered by it than I. A GREAT way to spend the weekend if you ask me - save the blue man part.
For those of you that know me well, you understand that for me to leave the list above alone over the weekend (and longer than that on some of the items) only serves to prove that I am truly a recovering Type A Personality. In fact I just bought a shower curtain for one of our bathrooms last month, and we’ve been in our house nearly 3 months. Shocked? I kind of was too when I realized how long I’d let the shower stand bare.
My new motto – “Laissez Le Bon Temps Roulet” – Let the good times roll! Monsieur Rees would be proud – it’s about all I remember from his french class. Don’t expect me to become a complete slacker though – I mean there is a limit to my dirty/chaos/unfinished meter. I confess that I did tell Jeff sometime last week that if I had to look at our redneck tv shelf for one more month I was going to throw it and the tv out the window…or something to that affect.
So will I be running straight home from work today to tackle the list? Ummmmm no. I will be running to the store to pick up supplies for the Gourmet Bread Pudding with Whiskey Cream Sauce I’m making for my grandparents tonight. And then I intend to eat a very large bowl of that gourmet bread pudding while sitting on my lazy arse at my parent’s house. How’s that for rehabilitation?! I just wish my nose and eyes would stop itching from all of this pollen. As a good friend once said regarding this time of year, “It feels like the plants and trees are all having sex in my nose.”
On that akward (but you have to admit funny) note….happy Monday!
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Confession
Okay if you’re wondering why I’ve all of a sudden starting writing on my blog more, here’s the big secret - I’m writing a book (don’t laugh). They say practice makes perfect, and I find that the more I write the easier it gets, so here you go. Plus I generally just have a lot to say, but rarely do, except to a few good friends that probably think I never shut up. Some of you might be surprised to learn that my husband is much more of a talker than I, so if one of us is talking, it is usually him. I can write all day long, but really have to be in the right “mood” to talk – much to some people’s (husband-sister-friends) frustration. What can I say – I’m a complicated woman. Plus my cousin totally pumped me up after my last post when she implied that I was funnier than Bridget Jones…..to be exact “Bridget Jones move over you are hilarious!” I can’t say that I agree with her, those are pretty big shoes to fill, but it’s nice to know someone out there appreciates my ramblings. Thanks Cuz! And now I know someone out there actually READS this blog, so watch out…
Here’s a teaser for those of you dying to know about the book…it’s about a girl…from Alaska….who’s a commercial fisherman. Novel idea, right. No it is not an autobiography. I’m trying to stay very true to the commercial fishing experience, but the characters are fictional. Obviously I can identify a great deal with the main character, but she is primarily a figment from my imagination, even in regards to her appearance. She’s lanky with long legs, beautiful long dark naturally curly hair and much more to work with in regards to her feminine attributes, if you know what I mean. For those who still don’t get it…she has boobs. Note I didn’t say she had huge boobs, just that she has boobs period. Enough said – sorry if I offended anyone talking about boobs. How I wished I looked you ask….perhaps….but you’ll never really know. Maybe I’d rather be a blonde….Regardless if I ever get published, I don’t want any of my friends or family members showing up on Oprah sobbing “that was me, that character was me.” Because it’s not/isn’t, so you can stop worrying about it now.
Most of you already know that for Christmas this year my husband bought me the best present ever – the X-Files DVD Collector’s Edition, which includes all 9 seasons of the show plus the first X-Files movie. We’ve been watching several episodes a week since Christmas, and so far are only through season three. Only 120 more episodes to go.
Two years ago for Christmas my husband bought me the complete “Everybody Loves Raymond” series for Christmas. I watched it on TBS in the evenings, so he thought I’d enjoy having the set. Although I sincerely appreciated the gift, the set has remained virtually unopened on our DVD bookshelf, because although I enjoyed the mindless bickering of Raymond and his wife as I was winding down in the evenings, I had no interest in really following the show. It’s kind of one of those things I would watch if it was on, but didn’t miss it when it wasn’t. Sorry dear husband! Good thing I’m a firm believer in “it’s the thought that counts!”
As an aside - this is really what a freak I am…for the previous 2 Christmases (06 and 07) my husband bought me vacuum cleaners/moppers of some sort. And guess what – I actually LOVED them. OK, admittedly I wasn’t very excited about the Scuba when I first opened it, but once I realized it was the ONLY thing that would mop my kitchen floor without leaving streaks, I was in love. Jeff loves to tell people I ran it 4 times that first day. And in 07 he bought me a refurbished Roomba, which I was obsessed with for the entire 8 months it worked. So yes, I’m a vacuum cleaner junkie, which probably makes my obsession with the X-Files seem a little more understandable. Robotics and little green men – makes perfect sense right? Even scarier – what woman in her right mind gets excited over getting a vacuum cleaner for Christmas..I mean really excited. Hmmmmm….
Now back to X-Files. I am such a nerd about this show, and am the first to admit it. In my opinion it is one of the best series ever made. Granted 12 years later the aliens do look pretty cheesy, and some of the special effects are….well….obviously 12 years old, but the script, acting and characters remain just as appealing and alluring to me as the day the show first aired. And even though I’ve seen many of the episodes, I still find myself glued to the screen every time.
It’s surprising that the show doesn’t get to me sometimes, because they really cover some pretty intense and dark topics, and for the most part I CANNOT handle any type of horror movies or psycho thrillers because I have nightmares about them for months. But for whatever reason I never get scared watching X-Files. Besides, although I enjoy all of their wild excursions, everyone knows the real reason so many fans, including me, stayed hooked on the show….Mulder and Scully. Chris Carter did an amazing job of developing their relationship without cluttering up the show with an office affair and all that comes with it. He kept everyone hanging for 8 years, and then no one really knew for SURE if they actually did get together until the 2nd X-Files Movie was released last summer. But from the beginning their chemistry and connection was very strong, and just became more and more intriguing and addicting as the series progressed. I love their quips back and forth, and those one or two innuendos Carter threw in every two or three episodes that sent fans into turmoil each week – myself included. I very distinctly remember sitting in orchestra with my stand partner and friend Kate Monday morning, rehashing every Mulder/Scully scene from the previous night. I also remember begging my mom to make sure my dad was not in front of the TV at 9PM on Sunday nights so I could watch the show – and miraculously most of the time she came through. Thanks for playing interference mom – ahem – moving on.
This week I’ve been browsing through the set, revisiting some of my favorite Mulder/Scully moments. At first Jeff got upset thinking I was watching ahead without him, but I really wasn’t. I had to remind him that I’d seen them all before, and would gladly watch them again. There’s just something about these two and their relationship that is extremely addicting. And what I love is there is no sex, drama or anything inappropriate for the most part (inappropriate is a fairly subjective term, and I realize some may consider the content of the show alone not suitable for viewing). Just lots of chemistry, and some really great lines, a few of which I’ll share below. Who knows, maybe I’ll make a believer out of some of you skeptics.
And you know what’s really creepy – there are several parallels between myself and Scully and my husband and Mulder. There is an extreme height difference between both pairs; my husband is a very passionate and unconventional person like Mulder and I am more of a realist and rule follower like Scully. I guess that’s really all that comes to mind right now, but enough to make you think. Although I am NOT one of those people who gets so caught up in shows and movies they start becoming like the characters. I was a realist and rule follower long before I ever started watching the show. And I was ~ still am ~ a nerd, a proud nerd at that. Just look at what I do for a living. I bet you Chris Carter originally had Scully set to be an Analyst, but decided to make her into a DR at the last minute so she could do all the alien autopsies.
So to all of my nerd lovers out there, I leave you with some of my favorite lines from my (still) favorite show. ENJOY! – The X-Fanatic
SCULLY: " How much you're like Ahab You're so consumed by your personal vengeance against life--whether it be its inherent cruelties or its mysteries--that everything takes on a warped significance to fit your meglo-maniacal cosmology."
MULDER: "Scully, are you coming on to me?"
MULDER: "Whatever tape you've found in that VCR, it isn't mine."
SCULLY: "Good. Because I put it back in that drawer with all those other videos that aren't yours."
SCULLY: It's not ice cream. It's a non-fat tofutti rice dreamsicle.
MULDER: Ugh. Bet the air in my mouth tastes better than that. You sure know how to live it up, Scully.
SCULLY: Oh, you're Mr. Live-it-up. Mulder, you're really Mr. Squeeze-every-last-drop-out-of-this-sweet-life, aren't you? On this precious Saturday you've got us grabbing life by the testes stealing reference books from the FBI library in order to go through New Mexico newspaper obituaries for the years 1940 to 1949 and for what joyful purpose?
MULDER: Looking for anomalies, Scully. Do you know how many so-called "flying disc" reports there were in New Mexico in the 1940s?
SCULLY: I don't care. Mulder, this is a needle in a haystack. These poor souls have been dead for 50 years. Let them rest in peace. Let sleeping dogs lie.
MULDER: No, I won't sit idly by as you hurl cliches at me. Preparation is the father of inspiration.
SCULLY: Necessity the mother of invention
MULDER: The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom
SCULLY: Ye drink or be merry for tomorrow we may die
MULDER: I scream, you scream, we all scream for non-fat tofuti rice cream, Scully.
MULDER (handing Scully flowers): I stole these from some guy with a broken leg down the hall. He won't be able to catch me.
MULDER: What are you doing.
SCULLY: Trying to open my magazine. If I can separate the shell from the casing maybe I can get the powder to ignite.
MULDER: Oh. And maybe it'll start raining weenies and marshmallows.
SCULLY: Do I detect a hint of negativity?
MULDER: No. Yes ... actually. Yeah.
SCULLY: Mulder, you need to keep warm. Your body's still in shock.
MULDER: I was told once that the best way to regenerate body heat was to crawl naked into a sleeping bag with somebody else who's already naked.
SCULLY: Well, maybe if it rains sleeping bags, you'll get lucky.
MULDER: They're out to put an end to the X-Files, Scully. I don't know why, but any excuse will do. Now, I don't really care about my record, but you'd be in trouble just for sitting in this car and I'd hate to see you to carry an official reprimand in your file because of me.
SCULLY: Fox...
MULDER: And I... I even made my parents call me Mulder. So... Mulder.
SCULLY: Mulder, I wouldn't put myself on the line for anybody but you.
MULDER: If there's an ice tea in that bag, could be love.
SCULLY: Must be fate, Mulder. Root beer.
Here’s a teaser for those of you dying to know about the book…it’s about a girl…from Alaska….who’s a commercial fisherman. Novel idea, right. No it is not an autobiography. I’m trying to stay very true to the commercial fishing experience, but the characters are fictional. Obviously I can identify a great deal with the main character, but she is primarily a figment from my imagination, even in regards to her appearance. She’s lanky with long legs, beautiful long dark naturally curly hair and much more to work with in regards to her feminine attributes, if you know what I mean. For those who still don’t get it…she has boobs. Note I didn’t say she had huge boobs, just that she has boobs period. Enough said – sorry if I offended anyone talking about boobs. How I wished I looked you ask….perhaps….but you’ll never really know. Maybe I’d rather be a blonde….Regardless if I ever get published, I don’t want any of my friends or family members showing up on Oprah sobbing “that was me, that character was me.” Because it’s not/isn’t, so you can stop worrying about it now.
Most of you already know that for Christmas this year my husband bought me the best present ever – the X-Files DVD Collector’s Edition, which includes all 9 seasons of the show plus the first X-Files movie. We’ve been watching several episodes a week since Christmas, and so far are only through season three. Only 120 more episodes to go.
Two years ago for Christmas my husband bought me the complete “Everybody Loves Raymond” series for Christmas. I watched it on TBS in the evenings, so he thought I’d enjoy having the set. Although I sincerely appreciated the gift, the set has remained virtually unopened on our DVD bookshelf, because although I enjoyed the mindless bickering of Raymond and his wife as I was winding down in the evenings, I had no interest in really following the show. It’s kind of one of those things I would watch if it was on, but didn’t miss it when it wasn’t. Sorry dear husband! Good thing I’m a firm believer in “it’s the thought that counts!”
As an aside - this is really what a freak I am…for the previous 2 Christmases (06 and 07) my husband bought me vacuum cleaners/moppers of some sort. And guess what – I actually LOVED them. OK, admittedly I wasn’t very excited about the Scuba when I first opened it, but once I realized it was the ONLY thing that would mop my kitchen floor without leaving streaks, I was in love. Jeff loves to tell people I ran it 4 times that first day. And in 07 he bought me a refurbished Roomba, which I was obsessed with for the entire 8 months it worked. So yes, I’m a vacuum cleaner junkie, which probably makes my obsession with the X-Files seem a little more understandable. Robotics and little green men – makes perfect sense right? Even scarier – what woman in her right mind gets excited over getting a vacuum cleaner for Christmas..I mean really excited. Hmmmmm….
Now back to X-Files. I am such a nerd about this show, and am the first to admit it. In my opinion it is one of the best series ever made. Granted 12 years later the aliens do look pretty cheesy, and some of the special effects are….well….obviously 12 years old, but the script, acting and characters remain just as appealing and alluring to me as the day the show first aired. And even though I’ve seen many of the episodes, I still find myself glued to the screen every time.
It’s surprising that the show doesn’t get to me sometimes, because they really cover some pretty intense and dark topics, and for the most part I CANNOT handle any type of horror movies or psycho thrillers because I have nightmares about them for months. But for whatever reason I never get scared watching X-Files. Besides, although I enjoy all of their wild excursions, everyone knows the real reason so many fans, including me, stayed hooked on the show….Mulder and Scully. Chris Carter did an amazing job of developing their relationship without cluttering up the show with an office affair and all that comes with it. He kept everyone hanging for 8 years, and then no one really knew for SURE if they actually did get together until the 2nd X-Files Movie was released last summer. But from the beginning their chemistry and connection was very strong, and just became more and more intriguing and addicting as the series progressed. I love their quips back and forth, and those one or two innuendos Carter threw in every two or three episodes that sent fans into turmoil each week – myself included. I very distinctly remember sitting in orchestra with my stand partner and friend Kate Monday morning, rehashing every Mulder/Scully scene from the previous night. I also remember begging my mom to make sure my dad was not in front of the TV at 9PM on Sunday nights so I could watch the show – and miraculously most of the time she came through. Thanks for playing interference mom – ahem – moving on.
This week I’ve been browsing through the set, revisiting some of my favorite Mulder/Scully moments. At first Jeff got upset thinking I was watching ahead without him, but I really wasn’t. I had to remind him that I’d seen them all before, and would gladly watch them again. There’s just something about these two and their relationship that is extremely addicting. And what I love is there is no sex, drama or anything inappropriate for the most part (inappropriate is a fairly subjective term, and I realize some may consider the content of the show alone not suitable for viewing). Just lots of chemistry, and some really great lines, a few of which I’ll share below. Who knows, maybe I’ll make a believer out of some of you skeptics.
And you know what’s really creepy – there are several parallels between myself and Scully and my husband and Mulder. There is an extreme height difference between both pairs; my husband is a very passionate and unconventional person like Mulder and I am more of a realist and rule follower like Scully. I guess that’s really all that comes to mind right now, but enough to make you think. Although I am NOT one of those people who gets so caught up in shows and movies they start becoming like the characters. I was a realist and rule follower long before I ever started watching the show. And I was ~ still am ~ a nerd, a proud nerd at that. Just look at what I do for a living. I bet you Chris Carter originally had Scully set to be an Analyst, but decided to make her into a DR at the last minute so she could do all the alien autopsies.
So to all of my nerd lovers out there, I leave you with some of my favorite lines from my (still) favorite show. ENJOY! – The X-Fanatic
SCULLY: " How much you're like Ahab You're so consumed by your personal vengeance against life--whether it be its inherent cruelties or its mysteries--that everything takes on a warped significance to fit your meglo-maniacal cosmology."
MULDER: "Scully, are you coming on to me?"
MULDER: "Whatever tape you've found in that VCR, it isn't mine."
SCULLY: "Good. Because I put it back in that drawer with all those other videos that aren't yours."
SCULLY: It's not ice cream. It's a non-fat tofutti rice dreamsicle.
MULDER: Ugh. Bet the air in my mouth tastes better than that. You sure know how to live it up, Scully.
SCULLY: Oh, you're Mr. Live-it-up. Mulder, you're really Mr. Squeeze-every-last-drop-out-of-this-sweet-life, aren't you? On this precious Saturday you've got us grabbing life by the testes stealing reference books from the FBI library in order to go through New Mexico newspaper obituaries for the years 1940 to 1949 and for what joyful purpose?
MULDER: Looking for anomalies, Scully. Do you know how many so-called "flying disc" reports there were in New Mexico in the 1940s?
SCULLY: I don't care. Mulder, this is a needle in a haystack. These poor souls have been dead for 50 years. Let them rest in peace. Let sleeping dogs lie.
MULDER: No, I won't sit idly by as you hurl cliches at me. Preparation is the father of inspiration.
SCULLY: Necessity the mother of invention
MULDER: The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom
SCULLY: Ye drink or be merry for tomorrow we may die
MULDER: I scream, you scream, we all scream for non-fat tofuti rice cream, Scully.
MULDER (handing Scully flowers): I stole these from some guy with a broken leg down the hall. He won't be able to catch me.
MULDER: What are you doing.
SCULLY: Trying to open my magazine. If I can separate the shell from the casing maybe I can get the powder to ignite.
MULDER: Oh. And maybe it'll start raining weenies and marshmallows.
SCULLY: Do I detect a hint of negativity?
MULDER: No. Yes ... actually. Yeah.
SCULLY: Mulder, you need to keep warm. Your body's still in shock.
MULDER: I was told once that the best way to regenerate body heat was to crawl naked into a sleeping bag with somebody else who's already naked.
SCULLY: Well, maybe if it rains sleeping bags, you'll get lucky.
MULDER: They're out to put an end to the X-Files, Scully. I don't know why, but any excuse will do. Now, I don't really care about my record, but you'd be in trouble just for sitting in this car and I'd hate to see you to carry an official reprimand in your file because of me.
SCULLY: Fox...
MULDER: And I... I even made my parents call me Mulder. So... Mulder.
SCULLY: Mulder, I wouldn't put myself on the line for anybody but you.
MULDER: If there's an ice tea in that bag, could be love.
SCULLY: Must be fate, Mulder. Root beer.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Random Letters
Dear Granger,
Can you please tell me the secret to your luscious locks? I don’t mean to sound gay, but it has been really cold outside lately, and mom keeps making me wear this stupid coat to stay warm. If I had locks like you I’d be set….…although it would take me much longer to dry when I pee in my crate and mom has to bathe me.
Plus don’t you think we kind of look alike – our coloring at least? I mean look at the beautiful brown eye patches we both have….do you know any other pooches with such exquisite markings? And you know what else?? Sometimes I get excited and pee on myself too. Oh my goodness, what if we were twins separated at birth!! I won’t have a moment’s peace until I know. Please call me as soon as your mom gets back to Jackson so I can come over and meet you.
Yours Truly - Scout
Dear Scout,
Please stop peeing on the carpet, and in your crate. We have plenty of room outside, all you have to do is ask. Truly, I really don’t understand where all of your pee comes from anyway. It’s not like you drink that much water – enough to create a small pond on the floor outside of your crate everyday.
Anyway, even though I bathe you often, you still stink. You don’t want to be known as the dog that smells like pee now, do you? What would Granger think when he meets you?
Dear Seagulls and Ducks,
Please stop using our boat slip as a toilet. I don’t understand why you can leave everyone around us untouched, but poop all over ours. This summer I’ll be investing in an owl mannequin, but if that doesn’t work I might have to take more drastic measures. Consider yourself warned…
Dear neighbors up the street trying to sell your house,
MOW YOUR WEEDS!
Dear Summer,
I never thought I’d ever say this, but please hurry up and get here. I’m tired of freezing my tail off every night during my run and having to put 3 layers on just to take the dogs out to the bathroom. Plus our neighbors are going to teach us how to kayak and sail this summer, and we really can’t get started until the reservoir warms up. I realize it’s still a bit early, but this is Mississippi. You don’t hesitate to let your heat waves linger through Christmas some years, why not get an early start in 2009? Just a thought.
Dear Diet Coke,
This is hard, because I really, really love you, but starting soon I’m going to have to start cutting back on our time together. I’ve started running again, and plain old water is really the best thing for me right now. Please don’t take this personally, this is totally about me and not you. I still love you just as much as ever……
Dear X-Files producer Chris Carter,
I don’t care what some people stay, I still love your show as much as I did back in high school. Although I will have to admit your recent X-Files Movie was really terrible and not in any way worth the $9.50 I paid to see it.
Dear Bailey the Cat,
I’m so glad you’ve stopped licking all of your fur off – you’re looking much better these days. But if you keep taunting the puppy he might take it all back off for you, or pee on you, so please beware.
Dear Readers,
If you think my random letters contain an unusually high number of references to pee – you are correct. But such is life with a new puppy.
And yes – I totally stole this idea from another blog. Enjoy!
Can you please tell me the secret to your luscious locks? I don’t mean to sound gay, but it has been really cold outside lately, and mom keeps making me wear this stupid coat to stay warm. If I had locks like you I’d be set….…although it would take me much longer to dry when I pee in my crate and mom has to bathe me.
Plus don’t you think we kind of look alike – our coloring at least? I mean look at the beautiful brown eye patches we both have….do you know any other pooches with such exquisite markings? And you know what else?? Sometimes I get excited and pee on myself too. Oh my goodness, what if we were twins separated at birth!! I won’t have a moment’s peace until I know. Please call me as soon as your mom gets back to Jackson so I can come over and meet you.
Yours Truly - Scout
Dear Scout,
Please stop peeing on the carpet, and in your crate. We have plenty of room outside, all you have to do is ask. Truly, I really don’t understand where all of your pee comes from anyway. It’s not like you drink that much water – enough to create a small pond on the floor outside of your crate everyday.
Anyway, even though I bathe you often, you still stink. You don’t want to be known as the dog that smells like pee now, do you? What would Granger think when he meets you?
Dear Seagulls and Ducks,
Please stop using our boat slip as a toilet. I don’t understand why you can leave everyone around us untouched, but poop all over ours. This summer I’ll be investing in an owl mannequin, but if that doesn’t work I might have to take more drastic measures. Consider yourself warned…
Dear neighbors up the street trying to sell your house,
MOW YOUR WEEDS!
Dear Summer,
I never thought I’d ever say this, but please hurry up and get here. I’m tired of freezing my tail off every night during my run and having to put 3 layers on just to take the dogs out to the bathroom. Plus our neighbors are going to teach us how to kayak and sail this summer, and we really can’t get started until the reservoir warms up. I realize it’s still a bit early, but this is Mississippi. You don’t hesitate to let your heat waves linger through Christmas some years, why not get an early start in 2009? Just a thought.
Dear Diet Coke,
This is hard, because I really, really love you, but starting soon I’m going to have to start cutting back on our time together. I’ve started running again, and plain old water is really the best thing for me right now. Please don’t take this personally, this is totally about me and not you. I still love you just as much as ever……
Dear X-Files producer Chris Carter,
I don’t care what some people stay, I still love your show as much as I did back in high school. Although I will have to admit your recent X-Files Movie was really terrible and not in any way worth the $9.50 I paid to see it.
Dear Bailey the Cat,
I’m so glad you’ve stopped licking all of your fur off – you’re looking much better these days. But if you keep taunting the puppy he might take it all back off for you, or pee on you, so please beware.
Dear Readers,
If you think my random letters contain an unusually high number of references to pee – you are correct. But such is life with a new puppy.
And yes – I totally stole this idea from another blog. Enjoy!
Almost forgot....
Dear 16 year old airplane stalker/starer,
Get a life. You are not Ashton and I am certainly not Demi, and neither is my sister. And oh by the way we're both also married. So keep your eyes to yourself, your hormones in check and sit forward in your seat like a normal person, or I just might have to have my 6'5" husband kick your puny 16 year old a#$ when we get off this plane.
Ahh - I feel so much better now! If only I could have said that to his face.
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